Broken | JB Favour | Fiction
18/07/2021
Chains… Blood…. Tears…. Sweat….
These words might help you envision captivity or one needing rescue or freedom of some sorts. But maybe…just maybe you thought wrong. The one who truly needed rescuing isn’t in chains. At least not literally.
But if you cared just enough to look harder for a second more… then you’d see why I did not care to leave a note before I went missing. And why none of you cruel humans will ever find my body. Not that it matters, but it is my little vendetta. To punish, to keep in suspense all of you who will embark on this fruitless search. And by the time you find this diary, you would have arrested several innocent people. Haha.
Psycho? Please cut the crap. Y’all are the real psychos. I would never have come up with this stupid plan if it wasn’t for y’all. If it wasn’t for……
Enough. I’m done complaining, waiting for a system that will never accept me. I’m done fighting a war that my ancestors never won. I give up on ever trying to be free. I give up on wanting to exist for who I am. And somehow, this is the only way I can get rid of these chains. So, as you read this, I hope your heart aches and that you feel some pain because you, all of you, are nothing but recycled chaos. All of you who push sickening stereotypes, all of you who preach equality, but expect me to work harder because I’m half black. All of you keyboard warriors who leave nasty comments each time I gain more weight. The ones who leave snide remarks at my accents and the big magazines who ask for extra fees because I am….
Wait…why am I even explaining? Sigh. Crap. This is all crap.
And you’re all going to pour massive comments on the tabloids covering my story. Lol. Perhaps I’d finally get to trend on Twitter for good or wait… my pictures would get bouquets and warm letters. The very fucking thing you should’ve done each time I worked so hard to accomplish stuff! But no, hey… Sigh. I’ll stop here before I sound anymore pathetic.
Dear diary, my only rugged friend. I’ll miss you mate. You and Kila and Jenks. My two feline lovers. I’m hoping Animal Rescue picks them up soon enough before the food I stored up in their bowls runs dry. Kila likes her milk warm always and Jenks, he simply has a mild pure milk allergy….gets a rash each time so I give him diluted yoghurts sometimes…just info for anyone who cares.
As for the world, I’m simply glad to leave you. My money… oh… I almost forgot. They say you spend life trying to get money, that you’d never live to even enjoy it all. Funny.
There’s a special center for Kids battling Cancer in LA, The Griffin stuff or something. Give 75% to them and the rest to Animal Rescue. My lawyer Blige, I know you never saw this coming… There’s a fat check for you to make sure you see to this. My drawer code is 5346xx.
I gotta go….
Oh, and that date above… Lol
I think it’s been a while since I wanted to do this. I just kept hoping one person would notice and try…. But… no… so…yeah… Damn y’all.
I got tired of waiting to be free.
************************************
03/09/21
Cut!
Retake, let’s try that again, Skye. You ready?
Yeah… I guess so.
Good. Now give me that beautiful smile. You a gorgeous woman. Let it shine.
1, 2, Take!
Awesome… now let’s go again. One more shot and we wrap it up, okay…
Sweet…let’s go. I’m ready.
Action! 1, 2, Take!
How…. How does it look? Are we… are we done?
Hopefully…let’s see. Hmm… the light, perfect. Hmmm… Okay Skye, gonna be honest with you… you put on weight, it affects everything. Your cheeks they too puffy. And right here… see…
Yeah…I can see…
Good… this is the highlight, okay? The emphasis is on the beauty of these pearls on you. Your shoulder is supposed to be skinnier, okay? I need you to accentuate the value of these pearls. Now I don’t care what you eat, but if you sign a deal, I expect you to prepare for it.
I … I know Cly…but I think it’s my… I dunno…I just. I’ll fix it.
You’re not the queen of endorsements for nothing, Skye. You better fix this! I want a better bloody shoot next week. Can’t have you looking like you got flour inside of you. Alright?
Yes… yes Cly. I understand.
*****************
You’re panicking, okay. Just calm down.
You cannot tell me to calm down, Tara. Just send the damn pills to my office tomorrow. I’ve got two interviews and a bloody press release for Akeelah.
They’re prescription only drugs, Skye and you know that.
F*ck prescriptions! I pay you for this. Get those drugs to me tomorrow. That’s all I’m interested in. I’m sorry for yelling but I really need that please…
It’s okay… I understand. It’s been a long day and I’m about to get some sleep.
Great. Good for you. I’m almost home.
You didn’t go straight home?
Ah… that… I had to film late for Jimmy’s Show. I couldn’t put it off any longer.
But… but that wasn’t in the schedule I had… I was sure it said…
It’s okay T. I kinda added it myself. Jimmy called, so I just… did it.
I’ll see you ‘morrow.
*****************
A pounding headache woke Skye up before the first streaks of dawn even began. Beside her, the ever snuggling, attention seeking Jenks purred slightly.
Some days…. I wish to be you boy.
The bedside dragon clock read 4:00 AM. So much for a good night’s rest. The migraines were killing, but not as much as her stomach. Last night, she had only managed to grab a burger before Jimmy’s show began. It had been a long two hours of intense retakes. A perfectionist in the game, Jimmy was never one to take a mistake. But he was a good man and one of the few friends she could really talk to. He had been the one to suggest she grabbed a bite first.
That bite had been her only meal until now. Thank you, Jimmy.
The kitchen sink looked too clean. There wasn’t much going on, anyway. These days, she hardly cooked and preferred to eat out. Her schedule had gotten tighter after filming Akeelah and so had her popularity, too. The endorsements and deals had started pouring in and, like an empty well, her manager had said yes to almost every one of them.
The cheques had been massive. From Louis Vuitton to Nike and even Samsung, she had cashed out massively. And, of course, the interviews and shows had been humongous. It had first been unreal to her and then demanding. It was from one thing to another, with only a few breaks in between. She could handle the stress, or so she had first thought.
Then the social media frenzy had started along with the very chains she now wore. Her pictures made headlines almost every week. She was almost cancelled a few weeks ago for wearing a bikini from a Chinese lingerie brand that had gotten involved in a racist scandal. She did not know what brand it was until she had seen the Twitter trends. It had been a gift from her fan club in London and she had worn it in appreciation. Too bad no one cared for the full story. #CancelSkye and #SkyeRacist had trended for 24 hours straight, and her office had closed for the day with a few anti fans taking their aggravations to her management’s building. Then everything had calmed a bit after everyone was done ranting, and she had issued a long apology.
The internet never forgets though, and she had logged into Twitter the next week to discover that she had become a new meme. Tara had taken her phone for days and deleted every social media app. But the images and comments had stayed in her head. Along with remarks about her openly supporting Chan, who was a known leader of the LGBT movement in Korea. Everything down to her toes had been dragged, and several of her pictures became instant memes and GIFs.
The coffee machine brought her back to the present. Sigh, it was going to be another long day.
****************
4/11/21
Freedom is an illusion. At least for me. The more you chased after it, the further it eluded you. And more so, nothing, not even freedom, is free. There’s always a price and somebody has got to be the sacrifice. Come to think of it, freedom is actually poison. A double-edged sword. You could use it to kill or to save. It isn’t only for good.
You have the freedom to pick up your phone and say anything. It is your right. But it doesn’t make it right or okay to tell someone you wish they were dead, or does it? That’s the power of freedom. Your freedom can inhibit my own freedom. Freedom makes the world a good place and an awful place too, but everybody is busy idolizing the concept of fighting to be free. I mean, who doesn’t like a good hero story? Liberation, that’s what everyone wants.
If it wasn’t for freedom, the police will not soon be marking my house with a yellow tape. They won’t be interviewing the last twenty people I had final contact with. The only time freedom will really be freedom is if there is a limitation. Absolute freedom is what turns men into beasts.
It was these thoughts she carried with her as Steve, her driver, took her for her scheduled activities for the day. First stop–Ruby Diamond Jewelleries.
Hopefully, Tara’s pills worked their usual magic. Her self-confidence was in shambles and Cly wasn’t helping. He was simply doing his job, though, like everyone else who had ignored the cryptic messages she had been leaving these days on Instagram.
Smile Skye…mask up. You know the drill.
Her management had flared up at the most recent scandal. This time, like always, nobody had cared to listen to her first. Her award speech for the best new actress of the year in Akeelah had taken a wrong turn the moment she had mentioned struggling with anxiety. And suddenly the hungry media had painted her fame depressed. A bad image for her management, who were busy struggling to land her the new Wonder Woman role.
F*ck this people. She was tired.
And this morning, just before Steve arrived, she had called home. One last resort. Maybe Mom would understand. But five minutes into the call, she had realized with a staggering ache that Mom had spent the entire time complaining about the new house she had bought for them and her brother Chris’s constant school fights. Yep! Way to find comfort. And as usual, she had ended her tale with a smooth request for some money. She had obliged. There was more than enough to spare.
Take care of yourself, Skye honey. Love you.
Yeah mom, you love the $10,000 I just wired.
If only Dad was here…
But he was too busy with his other family.
*****************
12/11/2021
“We understand that this is indeed a trying time for everyone. Our beloved friend, actress and model failed to show up for work since the 5th of November 2021 and has remained unreachable. Family and friends have maintained that they have not seen or heard a word from her since the 4th of November 2021, when she completed her final sketch shoot for Ruby Diamond Jewelleries, which she is a global ambassador for. She was in good condition and high spirits, as reported by those who worked on the scene with her and was last captured by the CCTV camera of her private apartment in Spring Hill, CA. There is no further footage of her leaving the building.
We are doing our best to cooperate with the police and other investigative departments. Our hearts are deeply saddened, and we hope that nothing terrible has happened to our dear Skye Jehnsen. We ask the fans to continue to be calm and that the general audience does not spread misinformation regarding this case. We look forward to bringing you good news soonest.’’
—- The Management, Max Entertainment
*****************
18/12/2021
BREAKING NEWS: This is the LA State CID, Investigative Unit handling the Spring Hill CA, Missing person ID: Ms. Skye Jehnsen, Black American, 5ft, dark hair, and American award-winning actress, model/entrepreneur who was reportedly missing since the 5th of November 2021.
At exactly 12: AM, 18/12/2021, the local metropolitan police received a cryptic scheduled message from the alleged missing Ms. Skye Jehnsen’s cell. Investigations have determined and confirmed our greatest fears, ruling out any chances of kidnap or murder.
Her message was short but precise.
‘’Do not look for my body. You’ll never find it. Look for my Chico pink bag, wardrobe, fourth row, blue diary, page 76.’’
A thorough search through the wardrobe has produced a Chico bag disguised in a plain paper bag. And inside, we found the blue diary, with the exact page allaying all former doubts and clearing those previously accused.
We regret to inform the general public and all concerned parties that Ms. Skye Jehnsen has passed away. Cause of death appears to be suicide and her body remains unfound. Having seen that the diary contains what seems to be a will of some sorts, we will refrain from commenting any further and ask that the grieving family and friends be given the privacy to deal with this immense loss.
God be with her soul.
*****************
01/01/22
Hello there Skye…sorry Amy
It took you a little too long to call Tara…
I know…Happy new year! It’s been…. well…everyone is still mourning, you know.
Haha… I even typed an RIP on one of my pictures this morning.
Are you good? How’s Hawaii?
I’m in South Africa now…travelling…spending my freedom… this is what life feels like away from all that chaos. I’ve made new friends T…you should come visit.
Good for you Amy…. I’m so glad I… I’m so glad I forgot my keys that day.
Yeah… you saved me. This was all your idea…
I love you Amy and I’m glad you’re free.
Yeah… Chan’s visiting soon. And I have this little black girls’ club in SA. I’m anonymous, of course. This is what freedom smells like. The power to express, to live as oneself… to hurt normally… to not be judged and to enjoy life equally without fear of being tagged broken.
Happy New Year Amy! To the broken ones.
Yeah… Happy New Year Tara! To us who were once broken!
Photo by Marianna Smiley on Unsplash
Bio
JB Favour is the author of ‘’Once Upon A Virus’’, an anthology that documents the emotions Covid brought to humankind. She is the founder of FAVES_PEN, an agency that specializes in content creation, branding, and marketing for brands. Also, she is a contributor to Intellectual Ink Magazine, USA, and a former contributing writer for I AM Magazine, Belgium.
Her works have been reviewed on The Newcastle Review UK, Cassy Writes NG, Lion and Lilac and other literary platforms.
